Baby Imann Birth Story ....From Mummy Peed point of view as a Doula.

To begin with, Wahida is my bestfriend since we were in MRSM Muadzam Shah. She is bubbly, friendly, intelligent, and a determined person. When she found out and told me that she was pregnant, not once I implanted the idea of homebirthing. But I did introduce her to the idea of gentle birth.

It was she who initiated the first step to read through the birth stories in the Hypnobirthing website. From there, she asked me about my experience and (I think) she was sold with the idea. Plus, her husband was first decided to homebirth ans was far  more confident as compared to her. After that, I advised her to enroll for childbirth class, and they decided to sign up for Maria Zain’s AMANI Childbirth preparation class.

Baby Imann Birth Day!

What an interesting day it was.. It was May 5^th,2013 our 13^th General Election Day. I received a call from Wahida at about 3 pm just after I went to cast my vote. She just informed me that she had her birth show around 1 p.m and that the surges were still mild and there was some amniotic fluid leaked after that. I just reminded her to keep herself hydrated and eat vitamin C if she has any.  I told her that when I birthed Ifwan, I got my blood show at about lunch hour and I birthed the next day. For that reason, I was kind of forget the fact that each labour is different for a while (and I forget that she was in labour until it was about 7 -8 o clock). I sent her an SMS asking how she’s doing, and the the progress of the labour and there was no reply. So, I thought she can still handle it herself. Not long after that, around 9.30 p.m ( I was just arrived in TESCO Kajang to shop for grocery) Nik (the husband) called me telling that the wife was having strong intense labour, started after Maghrib prayer. I asked if she has tried the birth ball, she did but now the birth ball no longer gave her any relief and she has jumped in the pool. Nik asked if I had any word to give her, and I said “ Please tell her not to fight the sensation because that what makes it unbearable”.

My husband asked me who called. “ It’s Nik. Yda’s husband.” I answered. “Why? Is she in labour?” he asked. “Yes. Nik said that she cannot tahan any more with birth ball and she has jumped in the pool already” I explained. “ Then, let’s just go there.” He decided. “ Tak jadi beli grocery?” I asked. “Nanti-nanti lah. Maybe she is in need of emotional support right now” said my husband. On the way to her place, my husband asked me “Do you think she wants you to be there? I mean, ya laa, like you, Masik (my sister) next door pun, you don’t want to call.” . “ That was me, at that moment I just didn’t want any other person in the room. But I think, she wanted me to be around kot, because she updated me when she had the show. Plus, Nik sounds a bit panic”

We arrived at around 10.50 p.m. and Nik left the front door unlocked. So I entered the house straight to the room with my one year old Ifwan Ariff.  I saw Wahida was already doing great. She was on all fours working with the surges. At that moment, she couldn’t really talk so I only talked to Nik for the update and the progress so far. I let my baby to stand by the pool. He stood there and not long after that he cried. Maybe he was sleepy. I fed him to sleep and the host let Ifwan sleep in another room. Thank you Allah for making things easier.  My Alya was asleep downstairs with my husband watching the results for PRU 13 on the TV. I went out of the room where my baby slept and saw Nik was feeding her wife and I left both of them in the room alone, and went downstairs to join my husband watching the TV.

Later, Nik came down and joined us for a while. While we were chatting and made commentaries on the PRU 13 results, we heard Wahida calling for her husband. Nik ran upstairs to the room. I followed. When I entered the room, Nik already held the baby’s head. Wahida was in position half kneeling, and another leg was almost straight. The baby’s shoulder was earthside already. I heard this brave mummy greeted the baby “Assalamualaikum, Imann!”. We waited for about 2 minutes or so before I gave suggestion to stand up. She agreed. So I helped her to stand up and the baby slides to her father. “ Alhamdulillah !! Good girl!!” Nik praised her wife. Immediately after that, he recited Azan to his son. It was so unfortunate for this doula because I failed to capture this precious moment when Imann made his Grand Entrance earthside because I couldn’t find my phone. I only found my phone when I help her to stand up.After that, I asked her if she wanted to rest on the bed, and she said yes, she would love to. Only then we could chat like old friends, comparing experience and all. But one thing that I was really glad to hear was that, she was not at all feel any trauma and she is not afraid of another childbirth. That is priceless!!! Both mummy and baby enjoyed each other company together while the father cleaning up the birth scene. I helped them to capture the moment, taking photos and recording video.

When the baby started breastfeeding, Mummy started to feel the surges again. To make the mother comfortable, I suggested Nik to support Wahida from the back, so she can lie back on him comfortably.  While she enjoyed her surges,  I passed them the drink so she can have a sip or two , as the husband could not move anymore.

After 2 hour of surges, I started to SMS and FB message to Maria and Wai Han for assistance (around 1.40 a.m). I knew that there’s a record of 14 hour for the plassi to birth, but the Mummy wanted to get it done as soon as possible. So, I asked both Maria and Wai Han if they have any suggestion to speed up the birth of the plassi. I was so afraid that it would be disturbing to send SMS to people at odd hours. But to my surprise, Wai Han replied almost immediately, “Cough it out”. “Ok yda, try to cough it out” I said. “ I couldn’t really cough, but I’ll try to do what I can”. She was sort of clearing her throat. She made it quite a few times. Then another SMS came in from Wai Han “Drink raspberry leaf tea to strengthen surge.”  That made me paused quite some time thinking how in the world I can get RLT in the middle of the night. Then I just ask Yda if she has any. And she said yes, she had it.  Thank you Allah for making things easier. I ran downstairs and get the tea. So I made the tea. And another SMS came in from Wai Han “Tried to sit on toilet bowl?” and “During surge, can try pull gently”. “Currently, she’s kneeling..” I replied.

“Yda, do you want to try sit on the toilet bowl?” I asked. “That’s what I thought too.” she said. So I offered to hold the baby, and asked Nik to help assist Yda to the toilet. I talked to the baby, “ Baby Imann, could you please ask your friend to come out??”  Dont know if that work, but I just tried asking the baby to take part. We waited quite a long time in the toilet. She continuously clear her throat, drink the tea until I saw the part of the plassi at the opening. Only then, I tried cord traction to get the plassi out. Yda said that she barely feel the surge anymore. I decided to pull the cord harder than the first attempt ( as I assumed that the plassi was detached already). Third time is a charm. My third attempt to pull the plassi out was successful. The plassi came out in a whole. “Alhamdulillah!!” . All of us were really glad that it was all over and everything went smoothly.

Later, Yda get herself cleaned and I asked Nik to help Yda to settle down, while I held the baby in the toilet. While waiting the parents to settle down, I open the pipe and wash away all the blood clot in the toilet. After she settled down, I helped them to clean the baby as he had passed out the meconium. Just before that, Nik tied the baby’s umbilical cord  with some floss and cut the cord using sterilized scissors. After getting the baby cleaned and swaddled, I asked  permission to go home at about 3.15 a.m. That’s the story from my side.

Above all, thank you Allah for make everything easier. Thank you Soo Wai Han for still replying my SMS in the odd hours. And thank you to both Yda and Nik for inviting me to witness and share this beautiful experience of yours.

Baby Ifwan Ariff Homebirth

Ifwan Ariff b Luqman Hakim : Fresh from the oven..

Bismillahirrahmaninrrahim..In the name of Allah the Most Gracious...

Before I start, I hope that those who chose to read this are open minded and be able to read it without being judgmental. Those who read this story are hoped to have a positive attitude and know how to respect the choice I have made.  This story is written to remind myself in the future of how I am blessed to have a better in fact the best experience so far in my life. Caution: This entry/story is going to be a very loooonnnggggg one (and might be boring to your reading).

Introduction

To begin with, my first birth wasn’t something I would like to go through again ( and again...) . It was not that bad but I promised myself that I refused to have the same experience in the future (if I got pregnant again). I even asked my husband not to have another baby due to the “not so beautiful” experience. But my husband’s simple answer “Why don’t you ask me in 3 years time?”.  I thought I read enough information about Childbirth before I walked into the Labour Room , but unfortunately I did not. Looking back at the experience, my first childbirth experience was full of unnecessary medical interventions ( Foleys tube, lots of VE, Artificial Rupture of Membrane, Episiotomy and stitches) and I think I was lucky enough that I did not end up with C-section.

As a result, I was so afraid to get pregnant again. I have read before about Hypnobirthing but I didn't know that here in Malaysia, we already have it. After I ventured into Motherhood, I always chat with one of my TESL friend, Najwa. I always consult her about breastfeeding, I remembered once asked her about Hypnobirthing , if she has any information about it. One fine day, she posted  a link on my wall about Hypnobirthing class that will be conducted by one of her friends. Eventhough I was not pregnant, I was very interested to join the class. When I asked my husband if he could join me to the class, he said ok. So, I signed up. That is how I came to know my Hypnobirthing instructor, Nadine Ghows. 

Post Hypnobirthing

I was still not pregnant but at that moment I was so hopeful that I could get pregnant soon. I guess the classes had made me overcome my fear of childbirth. It helped me understand my own anatomy and physiology better. I understand the power of human mind, mind setting, determination and faith. A few months later, I found out that I had bun in the oven! I was quite excited. The moment I found out about the pregnancy, I set my mind to have a homebirth. My husband was not so keen to the idea at first but towards the end of my pregnancy, he showed his support by joining me to the Birth Buddies Meet Up, surveyed and bought a pool for the event ( because at first I wanted to have a waterbirth), and pumped the pool once the baby was in head down position ( in week 35 or so) . That was enough for me to know that he’s into the plan.

Baby Ifwan's Birth Chronology

I experienced mild surges ever since I was in week 34 - 35. The surges were not really noticable as I could still ignore it and do my work as usual. On 29th April 2012, I started to feel some of the surges when they came as they came with sensations. But my instict told me that it was still not time yet. In the next 3 days I experienced Prodromal Labor (to my assumption as there was no show nor mucous plug). So, on 2nd May, 2012 I went to work as usual because if I were left alone in the house, there will be nobody to accompany me and I will have to look after my first born while  handling the surges at the same time. During lunch time, there was quite a long surge that I have to stop talking when it came. After the surge, I felt something came out so I decided to check what it was. It was the mucous plug. So, I informed my husband, and my sister, and Najwa. I called my mother asking how long did she have to wait until the  baby came out after she had her birth show. Reason why I asked was because mine might be like hers. I informed my colleagues about the show and I told them even if I dont give birth the next day, I will start to take leave. They started to panic asking if I wanted them to send me to the hospital. But, I still feel I could handle it.

My sister fetched me and took me home. Upon arrival, I cleaned up my kitchen, the living room and took all the necessary things to my bedroom upstairs, in case I birth before I could come down again. I took hot shower and it felt nice. But, after that I can hardly feel the surges. The surges were not as intense as the one I had in the afternoon. My husband came home at about 4.30 p.m. My parents arrived around 5 p.m. My husband rearranged the room so that the pool can be put right in front of the bathroom, so it would be easier for him later to fill up the pool, since the pool was quite big ( 2 mtr x 1.5 mtr more or less).After dinner, I started to feel the surges again. Still not that intense, I started to wonder if the thing that I saw in the afternoon was " the show". So, after I got my daughter to sleep, I had another strong surge and I went to the toilet to check. This time around I knew it was the show. I wore the maternity pad in case there'll be amniotic fluid leak or any other discharge. Then I informed Nadine about it. Najwa also  keep on sending me messages asking me how am I doing (Thank you, darling!). I decided to get some sleep as I want to conserve my energy in case the the baby decided to come out the next morning. 

At 4.00 a.m, I was awaken by a strong surge. I woke up and I went downstairs to get myself a mug  of hot milo and oats. While sipping the hot Milo, I thought of timing my surges. So, I timed. They were like 7 - 8 minutes apart. After that, I started to sit and bounce on my ball. I bounced and bounced as I felt very comfortable.  At around 4.45 am, I went to toilet, my body was cleansing itself. After that, the surges came and the interval between the surges shortened. The intensity of each surges became stronger. I made some noise while bouncing on the ball. It felt really good. I tried to distract my mind from the sensation thinking of something pleasurable and it worked!! The sensation became the thought that I was thinking. My 3rd sister, Anisah whom was in Malacca started to send me SMS asking how am I doing. She could not sleep that night. She asked me to visualise. 

At approximately 6.30 a.m. , as the intensity became a lot stronger that I could hardly distract my mind, I woke my husband up. I asked him to sit in front of my birth ball. Being himself, he didn't really know what to do eventhough he went to the Hypnobirthing class with me. He just listened to my instructions and at that time that was good enough for me. As long as he was there with me. My daughter also woke up for her feeding. Since the lights was on, she did not continue her beauty sleep. Each time the surge came, I hugged my husband while bouncing on the ball. At least the smell of him did lessen the sensation this time. That trick worked for me. At times, my daughter (who loves attention) was crying to get my attention. I was so focused on the surges and when it came I could not give her the attention she needed.  When I felt like I could walk, I decided to  take a hot shower. So I went to take hot shower. It was 7.00 a.m. I adjusted the temperature to the hottest I could manage and I put the hot shower on my back and at my lower abdomen, back and forth. It was a relief!! One more thing that I noticed, my water broke while I was having the hot shower. The colour did not worry me.

 At 7.40 a.m ( yes, I took a 40-minute shower) , I came out and a few minutes after that, my husband took my daughter downstairs to my parents, and since my daughter was not around, I climbed on the bed trying to get some sleep. But, as soon as I put myself on the bed, a very strong surge came and I felt  I needed to get out of the bed. With the same surge, I felt like my cervix has fully dilated as I felt the baby descended into my cervix. I knew the baby was about to come out. But my husband was downstairs. I was panicked for a while. A few seconds later, my husband came in, and  I told him that the baby was about to make his grand entrance. He thought he could still fill up the pool with water and I said there's no more time to fill up the pool. I asked him to hug me and he lead me into the dry pool. The time was about 8.00 a.m. and I tried to be on all four, but it did not do me any good. I kneeled widely and it felt right. In front of me, my husband who was waiting , ready to be instructed. I did not give out any instructions. I just need him to be there to be hugged (he is my bantal busuk after all :)). So, I hugged him. With the next surges, I felt like pushing the baby out, but I focused on my breathing and wasted my energy else where with vocalisation. I told myself many times "my aim is no tear!! DON'T PUSH!!!". I made a lot of sounds. I just did not care how funny it sounded. I made sure to let my jaw loose at all time. My poo came out first. "Poo is a good sign!!" I said to myself. But, at the same time I was like "Alamak!! terberak!! nasib baik takde air.." .  So, my hubby really has to succumb with it. At the same time, I tracked where my baby and suddenly I felt the baby was crowning.  I changed my location as I did not want my baby to land on the poop, of course. I did not use any mirror, I did not touch "the area". Everything was told by my instinct. I was talking to myself " So, this is how the " ring of fire" feels like...If this is it, I can handle it..".  At the same time, I encouraged my baby too. " OK. Good job, baby!!" "Good boy!!"    "OK, Pandai!!", "sikit je lagi, baby", things like that.  Suddenly my hubby and I heard something just dropped and IT WAS THE BABY.  I was not sure which position he came out, be it anterior or posterior, because at that moment, it really didn't matter to me anymore. He landed safely on the dry pool and I know it, there was NO TEAR!!  It was 8.10 a.m.

As soon as the baby was out, my husband got out of the pool and went downstairs informing everyone that the baby has been born safely. My 5th sister, Pip, whom stay with me in the same house came into the room ( her room was just next door!!), followed by my mother with my daughter. My father was out to buy some breakfast. The moment my sister came in, I was about to pick my precious boy. As I picked him up he cried. It was music to my ears. My sister helped me arranging the pillows for me to lay my back. I put the baby on my chest and now I am just waiting for the placenta to come out.

The Birth of the Placenta

Meanwhile, I just relaxed after the hard work I just did. In my heart, I felt accomplished, happy, tired, grateful, blessed and sleepy all at the same time. My sister started to inform my other siblings. For the first 10 - 15 minutes the baby rested on my chest before he started to look for FOOD!! He must be hungry after all the hardwork too! So, I did some circular massage on my breast until I saw something came out. He latched on successfully and started to breastfeed for the first time in his life. Once he started to suck, I started to feel some surges. While, the baby was breastfeeding, my husband recited the Azan and Iqamah to his ears.And the surges came back to birth the placenta. I tried to breath it out with each surge. Maybe it was due to the position I was in. I tried to do some circular massage on my lower abdomen, the same way I remembered the Housemen Officer did to me 2 years ago. I traced the umbilical cord to my VJJ, there was something at the end of the cord. I asked my sister what did it look like?? Does it look like blood or meat?? She said it looked like meat. OK. I knew it was the placenta. I tried to breath it out again. Not successful. I decided to change position to the position I birthed the baby.  I put the baby on the pillow and  I kneeled again . I called my husband to be my teddy bear again. With the next surge, I successfully breathed the plassi out!! And immediately I praised Allah "Alhamdulillah!". It was about 1 hour after the baby was out.

Immediately after that, I asked my sister and my husband to help me take bath. As soon as I got out of the pool, I passed out less than 1 minute and my sister lead me to the bathroom and held me, and my husband washed away all the blood. The umbilical cord was cut by my Dear Husband, when he wanted to clean the baby because the baby has passed out the meconium. After that, the baby was given to me again and I breastfed him to sleep. 

Lesson Learnt

This journey has completely changed my view towards childbirth. I embrace the fact  that birth is a natural process not a medical event. This is the childbirth that I always imagined in my mind. A private birth with only the persons who really support me and no unnecessary medical interventions. To those who think I had blindly jump into this matter, you are wrong. I made my effort attending classes even before I conceived, I did my research, I know the possible consequences ( all the "what ifs", the worst case scenario ) and ways to overcome it and I do have my back up plan. I went to my regular check up especially towards the end of my pregnancy.  I did my own assessment whether I am fit/ able to handle the situation.  I learned how to trust my own body and I listened to the signals it sent me. Above all, I learn how to completely surrender myself and have faith to what has been written for me by Allah The Almighty. It doesn't matter where I chose to birth my baby, hospital or at home :-  if He wants me to live, I shall live, vice versa. I believe that Allah won't burden me with things that I cannot handle. All in all, this experience taught me to be more humble.